When a conversation is impossible…

Something happened in your past that still bothers you today.  Consciously, but certainly also unconsciously.  But the people involved are no longer in your life, or the topics are too difficult, too painful to discuss for them or for you… What do you do then?

You could do a family constellation for this.  This is a method in which even the most difficult topics can be ‘discussed’ and solved.  There are various ways in which this method can be implemented.  Some therapists use persons who are ‘set up’ to represent other people.  Hence the name of this method.  Others use figures or cards to provide insight into the family system.  I use a different method, where those involved are invited to sit around a virtual campfire.  And there the conversations take place from heart to heart, or if you prefer, from soul to soul.  The people involved are therefore not physically present at the session.  And those involved don’t even have to be alive anymore.  The only ones physically present are you and me.

What actually happens is that a connection is created that transcends our rational, mental world.  It bypasses our egos, where our fears, beliefs and defense mechanisms operate.  That is why even the most difficult conversations are possible, where I energetically carry the field, provide safety and lead the conversation.

Some examples from my practice: a father who was never there, a mother for whom nothing was ever good enough, sexual abuse, a mother who gave up her child, parents who could not give love, physical abuse, emotional neglect.  Everything can be discussed around the virtual campfire and there are no obstacles or taboos.  This ensures that everything that matters can be expressed and shared.  This creates a powerful field of truth, love and compassion.  Mutual understanding is created at a very deep level.  In 9 out of 10 cases it is therefore possible to achieve forgiveness and one of the most difficult sentences can be spoken: “Daddy/Mommy/…, I forgive you what you did to me and what you failed to do.” This is always a goosebumps moment in a session for me!  I continue to be amazed at how beautifully and powerfully this technique works!  It is almost impossible to explain, but with this article I try to provide some insight into what is possible and how it works.  And I wish everyone this experience, because it brings so much discharge and enlightenment!  The process is healing and transformative for all your relationships, not just those with your parents.  The relationship you had with your parents as a child serves as a blueprint for the relationships you have in your adult life. I probably don’t have to explain to you what impact resolving ‘old pain’ and stress factors have on your health and well-being.

Are you also dealing with difficult relationships in your life?  Would you like to talk to someone about that?  Or would you also like to do such a powerful campfire session with me? Please contact me! Read more about family constellations here.

Photo: this is my shaman staff of the Batak people in Sumatra, in which the ancestral line is a central theme